


Dirty

by readerconsumed



Series: Sounds in the Dark [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mild Gore, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Sleepy Cuddles, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8356780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readerconsumed/pseuds/readerconsumed
Summary: Some things aren't allowed to be forgiven





	

**Author's Note:**

> So it's actually finally here! aaand it's a lot longer than I expected. Someone please let me know if it reads well as is or if I should just split it and make two chapters? *hugs*

He continuously asked himself “why” throughout the night. Why did it happen? Why did it happen to him? Why wasn’t he strong enough to get away? Why wasn’t he strong enough to pull himself out of the void that was pulling him in now?

Wade had been by him for what felt like hours now. To his mortification and weird comfort, the older man had helped him get clean again. Or as clean as they could possibly manage with Peter constantly insisting that he still felt dirty, even after they had drained the water and refilled the bath four times over.

Wade never complained though, never told Peter that he was imagining things, which Peter was pretty sure he was. The Merc had just carried on scrubbing. There did come a point where Wade had excused himself to search through Peter’s apartment for more soap, since they had worked through the entire liquid bottle in the bathroom.

When he had come back with the new bottle, Peter could see the mild horror even through the Merc’s mask. He had started to scrub himself on his own, but he had scrubbed so hard that he had created large, red welts all over his legs and arms.

“Peter, no!” Wade had yelled as he ran towards the younger man and all but ripped the loofa away from him. “Petey, no, are you crazy? Look what you’re doing to yourself.” Wade had gone a bit softer after his initial shock, obviously opting more for a calming tone than a scolding one.

Peter felt shame and frustration burn behind his eyes as he stared down at himself. Bruised and red and disgusting. His healing factor should have kicked in a day ago already, why were the bruises still there? “I- you weren’t doing it properly, it’s still there.” He sniffled, trying not to let the tears overflow again.

Wade stayed quiet for a moment before sighing. “We’ll just have to start over again then won’t we? Just… let me do the scrubbing from now on.”

Peter had obliged, hanging his head down and not even feeling a blush rise to his cheeks as the Merc cleaned him. He felt ashamed, but at the same time his body felt completely numb too, it was confusing and frustrating and he had to bite his tongue the entire time not to shout through his discomfort and then lack there of. Lack there of, because he trusted Wade. He trusted Wade with his life and that was the only reason he had even allowed the man to come anywhere near him, let alone get him undressed.

 

Eventually though Wade decided that Peter was definitely going to get some type of pneumonia from draining and refilling the tub as much as they did, so he’d heaved the younger man out and wrapped him in a towel that he’d laid out precariously over the heater in order to make it warm for Peter, who had sighed and snuggled up into the warm fabric.

Wade then helped him into a long pair of sweatpants and a Metallica t-shirt that Peter had stolen from Stark when he had stayed over at the Tower after a mission and had needed clothes. He wasn’t too familiar with all the bands songs but the shirt was comfy.

They then made their way to the kitchen, where Wade was currently making Peter what looks to be soup while he sits at the small kitchen counter; he’s not really concentrating though. His mind keeps slipping in and out of ‘here’ and ‘not here’, that numb feeling taking over both his body and mind. He starts to think that he’s going to be this way forever, some husk of a human being that won’t even be able to make eye contact with the people closest to him without feeling some sort of shame, like they can see straight through him and know what happened.

He hears the sound of something ‘clank’ down on the table and he slowly lifts his head to see the bowl of soup and bread in front of him. He hadn’t even been able to smell it while Wade was cooking.

“Okay so short disclaimer, I had no idea what I was doing but it’s out of a can so if it’s rancid it’s your groceries not my cooking skills.” Wade huffs as he throws himself into the chair next to Peter’s and shifts as close as possible. “Dig in!”

Peter stares down at the soup and his stomach twists at the sight of it, even the bread looks unappetizing. As Wade had stated, it wasn’t his cooking, it was just that Peter has no desire to eat, he hadn’t even noticed any hunger pains the past few days.

He can’t even bring himself to lift his hand to hold the spoon and pretend like he had the intention of eating, he just feels… frozen.

“Petey.” Wade draws the nickname out the same way Aunt May used to when he was being reprimanded for something and he feels his gut twist again. “Now you know I said I was going to feed you. And you Mr. are not leaving this table until you’ve had something. I’d suggest starting with the bread though, before you get sick all over me.”

Once again Wade seemed to see through Peter. He’s never been comfortable with that, the way the Merc always knew what was running around inside his head. It was eerie and no one, not even Gwen had been able to read him like that.

“I’m-I just don’t feel very hungry.” He whispers, still trying to get used to the idea of talking again after all the silence of the last few days.  

Wade had taken his mask off somewhere between getting Peter dressed and cooking the food, something that Peter always appreciated, because he knew how self-conscious the older man was, but not so much right now as he saw the pity wash over Wade’s face. There's something else there too though, something soft in Wades eyes that makes Peter want to roll into a ball and start crying all over again.

“I know Baby Boy, I know you don’t feel well, I just really need you to try for me please?” Wade requests gently.

Peter sighs at the look on Wades face combined with his soft words. How a mercenary is always able to get him to do things is beyond him, it’s also probably not a good thing though.

“I can feed you if you-.”

“No, no please don’t.” Peter sighs as he reaches for a piece of bread and stares at it for a while. He still thinks he’s going to throw it back up as soon as it reaches his mouth, but there’s no way Wade would let him leave without eating so he lifts it to his lips and takes the smallest bite.  

As soon as the bread touches his tongue it feels like his mouth is flooding with saliva and his throat has gone bone dry as his stomach tilts. He panics as a sweat breaks out over his forehead and he puts the bread down, breathing hard. He was so close to getting sick that he had to struggle to push it all back down.

“I can’t.” He breathes. “Wade I can’t, I’m gonna throw up.”

“And what may I ask are you going to throw up exactly?” Wade asks with a raised eyebrow. “Baby Boy there’s _nothing in you to throw up_!”

Peter blushes at Wades tone. He’s being spoken to like he’s a child and he’s being overly dramatic, and maybe he is, but that doesn’t mean he needs Wade pointing that out.

“Can I please just-.”

“Nope, you can’t do anything until you’ve eaten something.” Deadpool interrupts stubbornly. Peter glares at the other man, which for some reason causes Wade’s lips to twitch. “Just swallow it Pete, don’t concentrate on the taste or anything just… holy shit it’s so hard to keep a straight face saying that, just try again.”

Peter huffs, he could also be stubborn if he wanted to, but he didn’t feel like taking Wade on at this particular moment so he does try again. He takes a small bite of the bread and does exactly as Wade had suggested and swallows it. It’s hell on his throat for such a small piece but at least it goes down.

Wade smiles triumphantly next to him and pushes the bowl with the rest of the contents closer to him.

Peter takes small bite after bite and eventually he’s able to chew properly without feeling like he’s going to get sick. He tries the soup next, feeling ridiculous with Wade just staring at him, but his stomach has started to make little grumbling noises that he thinks may mean he’s hungry.

He actually moans when the soup hits his tongue. It’s warm and chicken and corn flavoured which just tastes amazing.

Wade chuckles next to him. “I hope that means I made it right.”

Peter takes another sip and turns to Wade with a shy smile. “It’s good Wade… thank you.” He tries to put as much into the ‘thank you’ as he can manage, because it’s not just the food, it’s everything the older man has done since he got there, Peter’s almost certain he would have wasted away in that corner if the Merc hadn’t come for him.

Wade’s eyes grow a little wider as he looks over Peter’s face, his hands twitching on the counter top as if he wants to reach out but restrains himself. “No problem Petey.” He mumbles, looking down at the floor.

 

* * *

 

 

 Peter smiled. Peter had actually smiled. It was weak and it made Wades insides hurt, but it was a smile none the less.  

However as good as it was to see some small part of the younger man coming back, Wade knew he was never going to be the same and that made the Merc hate that black slime ball with every ounce of his being.

He’d started planning as soon as he had seen the extent of what had been done to his boy. How he was going to do it, how long he would take. He would make that bastard fucking beg for death and then deny It even that.

He just couldn’t bear to leave Peter alone for the amount of time it would take to track Venom down and he sure as hell wasn’t going to bring Petey along with him to do the deed. Wade considered for a minute how therapeutic that would actually be; for Peter to face that scum and kill it with his own hands. That’s how Wade would have it happen if it didn’t know how very much that wasn’t going to be something Peter would ever do.  

He keeps glancing over to make sure Peter is still eating and he’s a little giddy to find that he’s almost finished his food.

Wade could probably call someone in to come watch Spidey while he tracks Venom down, but who would he call that wouldn’t ask any questions? Lord knows Peter isn’t going to be comfortable with anyone else knowing anything, especially not one of the Avengers.

Wade suddenly gets an idea about who he's gonna call (And no it’s not the Ghostbusters), but he’s not entirely sure it’s a good idea.

He excuses himself from the table, reaching for his phone as Peter frowns up at him as he leaves.

He dials the number as soon as he’s in Peter's room and out of ear shot, the phone barely ringing before the cautious voice answers on the other end.

"Mr. Wilson?" Bob answers slowly, probably already scared that Wade has some or other mission that's going to get him injured in the most hilarious ways. (Hilarious to Wade anyway)

"Heya Bob, long time no see buddy, pal, comrade, little annoying glitter speck in my eye."

"Uhm, yeah, i-it's good to hear from you Mr. Wilson, ah, was there something-."

"I need a favour Bob." 

"Oh God, please Mr. Wilson I don't think I can handle anymore favours." Bob wines on the other end

"You won't be saying that when I start asking for the other type of favour." Wade mockingly purrs into the phone

"Uhm..."

Wade chuckles and then rights himself, as much as he likes tormenting Bob, this was serious, and also...ew.  

"I need you to babysit someone for me for a little bit Bob."

"Ellie?"

"Fuck no, the last time I allowed that you set the fucking stove on fire you moron." Wade rubs at his eyes remembering how he'd come home to Ellie cackling while Bob ran around trying to put the fire out. "No, he's- he's a friend. I just need you to keep an eye on him while I go on a quick mission. He's been through some shit and I don't want to leave him on his own." 

"Oh... yeah, yeah I can do that Mr. Wilson, no problem." Bob says quickly, seemingly calmer. "Just, you know, as long as this friend of yours doesn't have metal claws and a bad temper..."

"Bob, in what fucking world would I be asking your puny ass to look after Wolvie."

"I'm just...checking."

Wade sighs dramatically before he continues. "I'll text you when I figure out the 'when' of it all okay?"

"Okay, you got it Mr. Wilson, I-."

*Click* 

Wade drops the call before Bob can even finish. Damn that guy can _talk._ Sheesh

Wade turns to walk back to the kitchen, muttering about Peter probably needing to babysit Bob instead of the other way around, when he runs into something with a loud 'Oof', a small, squishy something standing in the door way.

"What the-." Wade starts before looking up into Peter's hard expression. "Petey! don't sneak up on a guy like that! Especially a guy with multiple weapons and poor self control."

"Wade..." Peter starts, his voice tense, almost like he's angry but also almost like he's fighting with himself to speak at all.

 "Yes pumpkin?" Wade answers back sweetly, holding back any comments on how Peter constantly looks like he's going to faint when he's on his feet.

"Who's Bob? and why are you asking him to watch me?" 

Wade mentally kicks himself for letting his guard down. How the hell does Spidey always manage to sneak up on him?

"Oh, uhm you see-"

"You're leaving." It's not a question and the way Peter's face falls from tense to 'kicked puppy' makes Wade's insides clench. 

"I have to Pete, there's something I need to take care of." Wade says quickly, trying to get as much explanation out as possible before he breaks Peter anymore. "And I'll be back before you know it! Pinky Swear it! And Bob's a really good guy too, I mean he's an idiot but you know, good."

Peter's expression doesn't change though, instead he looks at the ground and rubs his hand over his arm repeatedly. "You- you're taking a job...now... I- I thought-" Peter is visibly shaking now and Wade's brain is still trying to catch up to the fact that Peter believes he would just be abandoned because Wade had some random job lined up. 

"Petey, Baby Boy, no that's not-."

"And you're making someone come watch me?" Peter continues, lifting his head to glare at Wade, his eyes red with tears Wade knows he's repeatedly tried to stuff down for the past hour or two. "Why? Scared I'm going to do something stupid? Think I'm too weak to look after myself! That-that I'm useless?" 

Wades lips set in a straight line as he stares back at Peter, the boys shoulders shuddering every time he releases a breath.  

"I would never think that about you Peter." Wade says softly, inching closer to the other man. "And if that's what you've been telling yourself every minute since I got here, you better stop that shit right now because it's nowhere close to the truth." 

Peter looks as if he's about to argue but Wade sticks his hand up cutting him off. "What Venom did to you... Petey it didn't happen because you couldn't stop it, it didn't happen because you were _weak_ , it happened because that motherfucker is evil and because you probably held your punches because there's a human being under all that muck and you didn't want to hurt him!"

Wade yelled out the last part at Peter making the younger man flinch, but he didn't regret it. Peter needed to hear these things, he needed to stop playing the blame game or he was never going to get stronger. 

"Am I right?" Wade asks, eyebrow raised as he asks the questions he doesn't really need answers to. He knows Peter too well. "How the hell does that make you useless or weak?"

Peter sways his weight from side to side and lifts a hand to the back of his neck, screwing his eyes shut and breathing heavily. 

Wade watches the hand for any movement, he's not going to watch Peter hurt himself like that again, but he also doesn't want to overreact and have Peter run back to his corner again because Wade yelled at him before he actually did anything. 

"I am weak though." Peter eventually gets out through gritted teeth. Wade knows that The younger man is going to give himself a headache with the effort he's taking not to cry.

"What kind of hero am I supposed to be to other people when I can't even protect myself? When I... break so easily." The last part comes out in a broken whisper as Peter allows himself to cry. 

And Wade finally starts to see it. The layers of pain that Venom caused his boy, the fact that even though Peter went through something horrific all he could think about was the fact that he may not be seen as a strong hero anymore, that he wouldn't be able to protect anyone anymore. It made Wade furious.

"I'm going to kill him." Wade vows lowly, his fists clenching at his sides.

Peter sighs and attempts to wipe the tears from his face. "Wade-."

"No Pete, you can't do that." Wade growls, gripping Peters arms gently, trying not to disturb the bruises and cuts there. "You can't just let something like this go. I know you're all against death and shit but _I_ am not going to let this go unpunished." 

"You're going to go after It." Peter states calmly, his eyes not revealing the extent of his feelings on the matter, which Wade finds disconcerting, a week ago the younger man would have bitten his head off for even thinking about killing. 

"Not today." Wade mutters, holding Peter's gaze to show him that he wont back down, that he's serious about what he's saying. 

"Not today..." Peter repeats as he averts his eyes. 

Without any warning Peter shuffles closer and laces his arms around Wade's waist, making the older man stiffen with confusion at the reaction, but Peter doesn't seem to notice. Instead he nuzzles his face into Wade's chest and tightens his grip. "Thank you." He whispers into the warmth of the other man "for not...for not leaving yet." 

It's the last thing Wade had expected, honestly he's been preparing for a screaming match like they'd usually have when he mentioned killing, but then again, Peter isn't really himself anymore and right now and all Wade can do is tell the younger man what he's been thinking ever since they met. "Baby boy..." He sighs, wrapping his arms tight around the other man in return and pressing his lips against the boy's soft hair. "If I have it my way, I will never leave you. Not ever."

 

* * *

 

Peter had felt himself cringe at his open neediness when he had clung to Wade for the what must have been the fourth time that day. Well, actually it was heading back into night time now. They had spent the early hours cleaning and eating and overall Wade has just been trying to antagonise any kind of reaction or expression out of Peter that he could get. 

Somehow, even if Peter hasn't shown it outwardly, he had begun to relax with all the Merc's nonsense. They were curled up on the couch, Peter pressed as tightly to Wade as he could possibly manage. He didn't want to move away from the warmth beneath him, somehow he had gone from not wanting anyone near him and just wanting to be left alone, to never wanting to be out of Wade's range for more than a few seconds ever again.

He didn't want to be as cold as he was before, as if only now realising how unpleasant it was, how horrible he felt being alone...

The TV was rambling on in the background as Peter timed his breathing to Wade's, tuning out the noise altogether. Wade had gone a bit quieter, opting to rather run his hands through Peter's hair than to run his mouth. The movement caused a slight chill to run up and down Peter's spine, which in turn sparked his senses. His ears started picking up all the noises again, Wade's breathing through his nose, the slight ring coming from the TV, the curtain rustling as Peter realised the window had been left open... 

That ringing.

Peter clenches his eyes shut and fists his hands into Wade's clothes as the ringing takes preference over every other noise around them. 

He almost feels like throwing the remote at the TV when he starts to feel the chill running up and down his spine again.

Not the TV. His Spidey sense.

Peter whips his head off of the older man's chest and darts his eyes around the room, landing on the open window and flowing curtain and lingering there every time his eyes sweep over the room.

"Petey?" Wade asks sleepily, lifting himself off of the couch and pushing Peter up into a sitting position, his hands rubbing up and down the boy's arms in an attempt to be comforting. "Petey, what? what's wrong?"

Peter's entire body is buzzing and his breath is coming in short gasps. His eyes are going fuzzy from the threatening tears and he silently berates them for being there. 

"It's...uhm, ca-." He tries to take deeper breathes, he tries to speak, to explain. Something's wrong. Something's setting this off but-

"Peter." Wades voice breaks through all of a sudden. Peter moves his eyes slowly and reluctantly away from the window down to Wade's own eyes. "Peter, you need to take proper breaths, you need to tell me what's happening or else I can't help you." Wade says slowly, looking at Peter pointedly, but the younger man doesn't answer, he just stares, his eyes are itching to look back at the window.

"Peter, are you hearing me?" Wade presses, his voice stern this time, reminding Peter of how Captain America gave orders sometimes. 

"Yes." he answers, voice strained.

Wade nods. "What's happening?"

"The window." Peter answers, dragging his eyes back over to the cause of his distress.

"Alright, I'm going to go check it out... okay?" 

Peter's torn between wanting the ringing to go away and not wanting Wade to go anywhere near the source. He starts to think about something happening to Wade, about what he'd do if Wade weren't there anymore. He's gonna fall apart again, he's going to crawl into the darkness of his room and let it swallow him up again.

The little voice that had been nagging at the back of his head returns with full force and his breath catches in his throat at the onslaught of " _weak_ " " _useless_ " " _he wasn't going to stay here anyway_ " " _no one wants to be with someone who's broken_." " _He's probably hoping you'll toss yourself out that window so he can go home_." " _who's going to want someone_ dirty _like you anyway?_ " 

_Dirty_

 "Peter!" Wade yells at him somewhere in the distance, he can feel himself being shaken and makes him feel sick again. "Peter! BREATHE YOU IDIOT!"

Peter scowls internally at the words being thrown at him. Breathe. Of course he's breathing, what kind of dumbass-

Peter's brain finally clicks at the words and what they mean and he opens his mouth and gasps in as much air as his body will allow, before expelling it just as quickly and repeating the action until his lungs ache. Maybe he wasn't really breathing too well after all.

"s-sorry Wade." He gets out between gasps, the tears finally flowing down his face. "Sorry." 

Wade is staring at him with wide eyes. Why do Wade's eyes always need to stare into him like that. Has he always found it this uncomfortable? 

Peter shifts his own gaze away. It just doesn't feel _right_ looking back into Wade like that. He doesn't feel he's worth it, he feels-

_Dirty_ the voice in his head provides again. The word makes him shudder.

All the while Peter's spidey sense is still ringing lightly in his ears and sending shivers up and down his spine, if _that_ could just go away, he knows he'd probably feel tons better and Wade would stop looking at him likes he's about to shake apart.

"Pete." Wade starts softly, seeming to debate with himself whether he wants to actually comment on what just happened or not. "I understand that I'm not going to understand... if that makes sense? Everything you're going through and everything you went through, but I'm sure as hell going to be here for you while you through it okay? so if that means checking every single door and window fifty-thousand times before you feel better, I will. Okay?" 

Wade stares at him, looking absolutely sincere in his words and it just makes Peter feel even worse.

"It's not like I'm just afraid of the wind or anything Wade, it's just my- my senses have been going haywire the last few days and it's happening right now and it's not exactly something I can stop or calm down, its just keeps happening and I-I'm not sure whether it is actually all in my head or not." He says the last part so quietly he's surprised that wade actually heard him. "It's probably in my head though."

Wade places his hand gently on Peter's face, making the younger man look up despite himself. "We'll figure it out, I promise. But right now, I need you to know that even if it is just in your head, I'll take care of it. Baby boy I'd fight shadows and figments of your imagination any day, every day! I'm already doing that for me anyway." 

"Why?" Peter whispers, finally allowing himself to look deep into the other man's eyes, searching for what, he's not even sure. "Why would you do that for me? I don't-."

"Honestly Babe, if you don't understand how head over heels I am for you well then I really need to step up my game." 

Wade... actually likes him. Sure Peter had known before, but for Wade to say it even now, even with how Peter is, how he's acting, how he's going to act. Maybe the older man doesn't fully comprehend Peter's situation? 

"You won't always feel that way though." He says bluntly, trying to force Wade into comprehension. Maybe trying to push him away? That's what you were supposed to do right? Push the people that may care about you away so that you don't have to deal with them actually choosing to leave you later on.

"Petey, don't assume to know how I feel about you." Wade answers just as bluntly. If anything, he actually seems a little offended by Peter's statement. His hand is still on Peter's cheek and the younger man can feel it get heavier there, as if Wade is trying to push the words into him. "I will stay with you as long as you'll have me. Do you understand me?"

Peter wants to say that he doesn't like that answer either, because even he doesn't know what he's going to be like tomorrow. What the new voice in his head will force him to feel, to think. He doesn't want the control that Wade has just handed over to him, but just as Peter's about to argue such, the ringing in his ears is back with full force and it runs through his skull and dulls out his thoughts, causing him to grab at his ears as if he could somehow block it out.

" _No_ " A breathy voice hisses by the window. " _My_ Sssspider." 

And Peter shuts down.

_It's here._ His mind frantically races against the panic to justify the reality of that _thing_ actually coming back for him. 

"No." He chokes out as he lifts wide eyes towards the window, both wanting to flee but at the same time wanting to see if he had actually just imagined the voice. 

He hadn't.

The black figure had already slunk in through the window, it's form bubbling and shifting, getting bigger as to block the way it had come in. It's black skin shiny, almost smooth looking, like tar. But Peter knows. He knows the texture of that skin is anything but smooth, it's rough and scaly almost like a snakes, even if Peter had no recollection of there every actually being any scales.

Peter couldn't drag his eyes away from Venom but he knew Wade had somehow moved into a standing position, an attack stance. Some far place in Peter's mind supplied the fact even though Wade was in full Deadpool stance, he had nothing to show for it, being in civilian clothes and his weapons lying somewhere in Peter's room.

"Think again Baby Boy." Wade says lowly, menacingly, very much Deadpool despite the lack of the outfit and drags out a katana slowly from under the couch as Venom hisses and snarls from his place by the window.

Had he been speaking out loud? Despite the situation, Peter almost finds the fact that he can actually articulate words right now rather amusing. He's starting to think this must be what hysteria feels like as his hands shake at the memory of Venom moving over him, touching him, leaving no part of Peter just for himself.

Venom has been slowly inching forward, as if scared somehow. It's so different from how Peter had been attacked the first time and ridiculously, he starts to feel jealousy pool in himself as he realises that it's Wade that's causing this kind of reaction in the monster. Wade is seen as the threat. Whereas Peter...

"Peter." Wade says lowly towards the younger boy as Venom gives off a low growl from the other side of the room. "Move."

Peter only has a few seconds to comprehend the Mercenaries words before Wade is jumping at Venom, katana raised and the most horrifying look on his face that Peter has ever seen.

Venom shrieks at his attacker and his body unfolds and contorts into random shapes to avoid the blade. Peter finally snaps himself out of his head space and bolts just as Wade had instructed. He runs into his room and slams the door shut behind him, sliding down against the door and folding his knees to his chest. 

The sounds coming from the otherside are downright animalistic and it makes Peter's whole body shudder with fear. The sounds are mostly a mix of shrieks and growls from Venom, every now and again he'll hear Wade grunt with the effort he's putting into the fight and Peter feels sick with guilt that he's literally letting Wade fight his monsters for him.

But he can't move.

He can't face Venom again. He's not strong enough and he'll most definitely just get in Wade's way.

_Poor excuse for a hero._

_"_ No." He sobs into his knees.

_You were right every single time you thought you didn't deserve Wade._

"I-."

_Pathetic. He'll see it for sure now._

Peter almost yells at the voice in his own head before there's a loud thump on the other side of the door. Then silence.

He can feel his heart hammering in his chest, almost painful as he starts to feel it pounding in his head too, making it hard for him to hear what's happening in the apartment. 

"Peeeeteeer." A sing-song hiss carries in from the other side of the door.

His heart stops then and he can feel himself run cold.

A sob escapes his throat and he throws his hands over his mouth to muffle anymore that may escape. He knows it's a futile action though. Venom knows he's there, knows he's cowering away, just like before.

He can hear the slow drag of claws against the wood in the apartment, long gravely sounds that lets him know the monster is toying with him. He's not sure if his senses are still haywire, but it sounds like the noises keep coming from different directions in the apartment, seeming closer at first and then far away again.

Peter's nose is assaulted with Venom's smell, something he will never be able to clear from his memory no matter how hard he scrubs himself. It's all over him, the smell, the sounds, the low hissing and slow drag of claws.

"Please." Peter whispers between sobs. "Please, please ,please." He's praying before he even realises it. To who, he's not sure, but he keeps going as if the words will somehow shield him.

His face is a mess with tears and his nose is running, he can feel himself way past panic as he rocks back and forth, covering his senses in his own pleas for help. then something clicks to a halt inside Peter's mind.

Quiet. 

It's quiet. How long had it been that way for?

There are no discernible noises besides his own breathing which he's now choked down to a minimum to focus, to hear.

Nothing.

Peter drags breath in slowly through his mouth as his heart rate starts to pick up again, the silence is defining as he leans his head to the door to listen.

He holds his breath, ear planted firmly against the cold of the door. 

" _Mine_." 

 The door is blown open and Peter is knocked back with it. Shards of door have gone flying all over the room, the biggest piece lying on top of Peter just at the foot of his bed. He cries out as he pushes the rest of the door off of himself, somehow feeling even more bruised than the past few days.

His shirt has been shredded from the wood shards and he notices a little bit of blood over his stomach. He moves his eyes downward, assessing his body, his scraped knees and torn boxers, until his eyes roam further upwards and he stops.

Venom is standing just in front of him, Peter can tell the creature is smug with the way he's staring at the young hero. 

Peter had been hoping with all he had in him that he'd never have to see the creature again. Hoping that somehow he'd survive this. That just obviously wasn't realistic.

"Venom please." He begs through his dry throat. Just as he had begged the first time. It's too similar, it can't be happening again.

He foolishly hopes that if he closes his eyes, he'll open them and be on a roof top with Wade somewhere, eating tacos and talking shit. Happy again and not broken. 

"Sssspider wasss foolishh to run." Venom hisses, ignoring Peter's whimpers as he slinks closer. "Knew we would find you." 

Venom's right. Peter knew he hadn't truly escaped but it had been the only solution his brain had provided. To run. His own mind had lured him into a false sense of security around Wade and he had almost forgotten it wasn't over. 

Peter felt his heart ache in his chest as he started to relax, as his muscles started to unhinge. As he started to accept.

Why had he even thought he was good enough to escape this? It was inevitable and him thinking he had actually outrun the issue was a testament to how stupid he really was.

Venom seems to notice Peter's slack posture and the creatures mouth pulls up at the ends. "Good sssspider." the hiss carries down Peter's spine making him cringe.

He let's his eye's roam past Venom to the living room and his breath catches. Beyond the broken door pieces and messed up furniture, Peter can see Wade. He's not moving, his face is pointed right at Peter, eyes open and body covered in blood.

The site makes Peter retch.

He let that happen. He let Wade fight Venom for him and now the older man was lying dead in his living room.

It made Peter both guilty and intensely angry because Wade was his friend. No Wade was more than a friend, he had always been something more than a friend and he had stayed with Peter to help him get better, to feed and bathe him, to make him laugh. and this was how Peter was going to repay his friends kindness. Even worse is the fact that Peter knows Wade will wake up and his mind won't even allow him a vague picture of what Wade will awake to find.

He can't do this. He can't let himself be dragged down, not again. Even though he still truly believes that he is inherently weak, he will not allow Venom the satisfaction of seeing that side of him again. 

He skin crawls as he feels Venom's tendrils drag along his legs, having gotten closer during Peter's inner turmoil. The touch is making him hyperventilate as he has flash backs of the last time they had touched him, the slow drag that releases goose flesh along his legs as the monster toys with him.

He remembers seeing Wade kick some stuff under the bed when he had helped Peter into his clothes earlier on and he just prays it's where Wade's been stashing some of his weapons.

He slowly slips one hand back under the bed while Venom is distracted, running his tentacles up the back and sides of Peter's waist.

"Pretty sspider." Venom carries on unknowingly.

The tips of Peter's fingers brush against something cold and smooth and his brain supplies 'blade' whilst simultaneously praising the same whoever he was praying to earlier on for his dumb luck. 

It feels long as he runs his finger over it and he assumes that it's the twin to the Katana Wade had been fighting Venom with earlier. His hand bumps against something else, also cold, almost cylindrical. 

A bomb. 

His brain tries to replay the different moments Wade had rambled on about the different set of bombs he carried around with him. Usually Peter would just smile and shake his head at the Merc's enthusiasm, but he had picked up a few things and luckily he had an Eidetic memory and he managed to recall the shapes of the handheld bombs he'd been shown.

It was a flash grenade. 

Venom was hovering over Peter now, It's long tongue curling out the creature's mouth like a snake and running hotly up the side of Peter's neck. He could feel the rest of Venom's body pressing down against his own lower body and keeping him immobile. It was now or never, while Venom was close and distracted.

Peter pulled the blade out from under bed and moved his body to swivel around as much as he could, letting the blade sink into the tar-like skin just below the chest, causing Venom to shriek.

Peter knew the blade hadn't and wouldn't actually do anything to Venom but it gave him the opening he needed. While Venom was still shrieking in anger he grabbed the flash grenade and pulled the ring. He quickly stuffed the grenade in Venom's mouth, celebrating when the creature was too shocked to slam it's mouth down on Peter's arm. 

The struggling from the creature had made it so that Peter's body was only just underneath it still, so he musters up as much of his heightened strength as possible to pull himself free and wrap his arms tightly around Venom's head, slamming It's mouth closed and swinging a leg over to the other side of the monster, so that he is now fully positioned on Venom's back.  

Venom thrashed and screeched as Peter held on. Peter then started to feel the symbiote bubble beneath him and a loud rumble sound from inside the monster as the grenade went off.

The shear force of the bomb and the heat had Peter crying out as his own skin began to burn where he touched Venom's. The monster rocked on it's feet before stumbling and falling onto it's front on the bedroom floor, causing Peter to hiss in pain as his one arm is caught under It as he continues to hold on.

It's then that the symbiote begins to detach itself from it's owners body, the figure growing smaller as more of the symbiote slinks away, burnt and hissing in protest as the skin continues to bubble. 

Peter glares at the mass as it pulls itself fully from It's host. He grabs the blade again and shoves the body underneath him away before hacking wildly at what's left of the symbiote. This time the creature seems to react to the blade, obviously weakened from the blast. It gets smaller and more silent as Peter continues to hack at it. 

Peter doesn't acknowledge the tears that flow freely down his face, he doesn't even take notice of the limp body he had tossed to the side in his efforts to get to the symbiote. Or the bloody figure that is standing next to him silently. 

He pushes everything into his assault on the symbiote. His weakness, his pain, both physical and the emotional that will last a lifetime. His fear.

And he doesn't stop, he just keeps going, long after there is nothing left of the creature but scorch marks, sobs being pulled from his chest in painful hiccups and eyes wide and unblinking as he tries to ensure that that Thing will never ever come back. 

_Does this make you feel better?_ The voice in his head asks condescendingly 

_Yes_ Peter growls right back.

He lifts the blade high in the air again but a hand shoots out and grabs the base of the blade before he can bring it down again. He gasps and releases the blade when he realises he can't pull it free and shuffles himself away from the intruder. 

In his effort to get away, he trips over something hard. His eyes widen and a cry escapes his throat as he stares down at Eddie Brocks broken, burnt body. 

As soon as the cry has left his throat, there are strong arms circling around him and pulling him in. He screams louder and thrashes against the limbs holding him. 

"Peter no. Don't look please."

Wade.

Peter huffs and continues to struggle against the other man. They're both kneeling now, close enough that Peter would probably feel heat from the body on the floor if there was any. He wants to see. He wants to remember what he's done. "Let me go." He sobs 

"Peter stop it." Wade scolds, holding the younger mans wrists and forcing him to look forward. "Look at me."

"Let me go Wade! Let me go!" Peter wails as the Merc continues to remain calm. "Don't you understand what I've done? _Please_."

 "Please what Peter?" Wade asks, shaking him, the younger man battling to breath as he locates the lifeless form out of the corner of his eye again. "Please let you wallow? Let you make yourself believe you're a bad person because you protected yourself? Eddie was long gone way before this. You have to know that Petey." Wade's voice is barely more than a whisper now. He's shuffled closer to Peter and staring intently into the other man's bloodshot eyes. 

"Wade." Peter sobs, clenching his fists even though he can't move them. "What am I supposed to do?" The words come out in a whine as he lowers his head. "How am I supposed to deal with this?" 

Wade doesn't answer straight away, he takes advantage of the younger man's semi-calm and pulls him to his chest. He shushes Peter and rocks the both of them back and forth as Peter continues to shakes with the force of the pain inside him. 

"What am I going to do?" Peter repeats weakly. "I can't... I can't."

he doesn't know if he can live after this. If his mind will ever be able to recover. He barely survived his own mind before. 

He cries harder, knowing he will never be able to escape what his own mind is going to doll out.

"You're not going to be alone Baby Boy." Wade whispers above him, making Peter's heart clench. "I'm here. I'm not leaving. No matter how much you yell or scream at me. No matter how many times you tell me to leave. I won't. I'm going to be here while you feel broken, when you start to feel numb, angry, hopeless."

Peter can hear the shudder in the other man's voice as they're pressed closer together.

"And I'm going to be here when you start to laugh and smile again, because Peter that's all you've ever deserved. Never in a million years did you deserve what's happened to you, but it did happen and now you've got to decide whether you're going to live through it until life gets better or whether you're going to break down and convince yourself that you're somehow the monster."

Peter stays quiet, waiting for Wade to say more. His eyes are starting to droop and he can feel the strain in his body as the Adrenalin wears off. He's sore everywhere, but mostly just tired, he wants to sleep for a lifetime and maybe wake up when everything's better again. 

"M' tired Wade." He mumbles, eyes fluttering.

"I know Baby." Wade shushes, running his hand in gentle circles on Peter's back. "Sleep now. I'll be here when you wake up."

Peter's eyes immediately obey and they slip closed, bringing a peace Peter didn't think he would feel after everything, but he accepts it with a soft sigh as Wade continues to rock him.

"I'll always be here."  

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little up in the air at one point because I'd had my heart set on Wade dealing with Venom and then as I started writing, it just did a 180 on me. But I'm actually a lot happier with this result.
> 
> Also... I have no idea how effective a flash grenade would be INSIDE of Venom but they do give off tons of heat which is one of the things the symbiote is susceptible to. 
> 
> Also (pt2) I'm on Tumblr if anyone feels like popping by: http://cometqveen.tumblr.com/
> 
> Please please pleeeeaaase let me know if anything else needs to be tagged.   
> Also (pt3) I guess I got a little poetic (If I can even call it that) and matched the end of the second part with the end of the first part but adding in an "always" just to cement the fact that Wade is in it for the long run. 
> 
> I'll stop now :P.


End file.
